So it's the final countdown in school and skating right now. I know I haven't blogged in a while. I've been kind of down, stressed, and just not even capable of putting together rational thoughts. So much has happened! First I'll start with skating. Generally it's going really well. I have so much fun doing our new free dance and am excited to keep working on it. My achilles is also getting so much better, but still gets swollen every now and then. We have a small vacation starting next week, which works out perfectly with my finals.
School is coming to an end. We have less than three weeks left, and of course I feel the stress and pressure now. This is that time of the semester where no matter how much work you do, you feel like it will never end. I feel...like I am running in place..in the sand...with a weight tied to my back. It's exhausting, and honestly at this point, mind over matter.
In other aspects of life, I'm just...crazy. I don't even know where to start. Within the last four days I got locked out of my apartment twice. The first time they took an ax to my door to let me in and the second time I had a spanish guy get a ladder and climb through my window. The latter of the events (no pun intended) was of course Mother's Day. Surprisingly though, while watching a complete stranger crawl through my office window, I found a two dollar bill in the grass. It is currently taped next to my door with a note underneath; "Don't forget your keys". Mother's Day was lovely though otherwise. I have the greatest family. This sunday I am running the Maryland Half Marathon with my brother to help raise money for cancer. You know, I think I will be ok getting through it. I've been running everyday for the past three weeks now, and I feel great. I went running today and it was so beautiful out. I ran for a little over an hour in some small neighborhoods as the sun was setting. The trees smelled so good, all the flowers were in bloom, and as I was running; I saw an elderly woman being dropped off at her home in a wheelchair by paratransit. I thought to myself, I should never ever waste a moment of my life feeling sorry for myself. I'm sure she is and has been living a wonderful and I don't mean what I say now in any way that she is living a bad life. However, she does not have the luxury I had of carrying myself to see the things I did. Running makes me so incredibly happy. It's my part of the day where I can just let go of whatever is on my mind and just go. I do get the same sensation with skating. I love it so much, but running is just me..no one else. I have complete control over myself. So as I ran past this woman being dropped off..I ran around the bend to where there was a flower bed and some trees and I just stopped. For some reason I just cried. I sat down next to one of the trees, and just let it all out..tears pouring down my face. I'm not sure if the tears were out of joy, sadness, or fear; but they felt good. I'm glad no one drove or walked by haha. Eventually I stood up and ran the rest of the way home. Never have I had a run that felt so cleansing and relieving. Wish my brother and I luck in the half marathon Sunday. :)
~Without the nourishment of our tears, we can never grow~
