Nationals Day 1

So it was the first real day at Nationals for us, and the least I can say is that I am exhausted.  It is going really well though.  All the Juniors skating so well and Stasia and Colin made it to Junior Worlds! :) So excited for them!  The arena is really nice, but the practice rink is pretty cold and the ice is so loud!  It felt like we were skating on hollow ice.  Our practice tonight went pretty well.  We did free dance and did our full run through, which was a little painful but it went well.  However, it was expected out of the first practice run through.  Well I'm calling it a night since we have to wake up at 5am tomorrow for short dance practice in the actual competition arena.  I'm doing the draw for us tomorrow after that, so fingers crossed that I get a decent spot!

Packing

One of my least favorite activities ever is packing, or overpacking rather.  So after driving back to Delaware from my parents house this morning, coaching learn to skate, running five million errands, and going to the mall; I finally got to packing.  I have eight pairs of shoes, and I am there for like five days.  That doesn't even make sense, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. As long as I don't forget the most important things for my feet...my skates!  I'll let my suitcase sit for tonight and I will re-assess the situation tomorrow.  Last year when I went to Nationals with Kyle I had to take shoes out of my suitcase and put them in his, because it was overweight for the plane.  I didn't get those shoes back for a year, but  I already told him to leave some room in his bag for this year. Ok well two more days of training and then we will finally be leaving for Nationals Tuesday afternoon.  Fingers crossed we don't get stranded in the snow here in Delaware, but I'm positive our flight is leaving before the storm.  I am so ready to be there and compete already.  It's weird that a lot of my friends I train with are there already and practicing and we are still at home.  But soon enough! I looked at some old skating photos while I was at my parents house, and it occurred to me how much has changed.  However, if I had listened to all the people who told me not to take the risks I took, I would never be where I am now.  I may have closed a few doors and ran around in the dark for a while...but I think I finally found the door that lead me down a great path.  It just shows that you should never just be content with your life.  If you're just content, then take the risk to throw away "content" and seek for something more.  It's scary when people don't support you in your decisions or don't believe in you, but if it's something you really want, you have to go for it and make it happen.  Everyone wants to be the person who believes in themselves. I want to wish the best of luck to my friends competing Junior ice dance: Danielle Gamelin and Alex Gamelin, Anastasia Cannuscio and Colin McManus! They worked so hard this year and are going to be amazing. Trust me ;)

Simple

Today has been a long day.  I feel like this week before Nationals is crawling. I wrote a blog on Monday, and Tuesday was slightly better. Blame it on illness or nerves, but the last two days haven’t been too hot on the skating front…or any front for that matter.  However, I guess every roller coaster has to go down to come back up again…or that would be one boring ride.  Needless to say today got so much better.  First I would just like to say that Kyle is the most wonderful partner I could ever ask for. It’s ironic, because we’ve been great friends since I came to Delaware and we trained together for a year. We would always share frustrations of looking for partners.  We traveled to Spokane together to watch Nationals last year and sat in the stands.  At the point where we were both about to give up the search, our coach was like “Why don’t you two just like stroke together or something?”  We did and apparently something clicked.  No one ever thought it would work since we are close in height, but hey...it happens ;)  I’d say we’ve had about three “tiffs” since we’ve started skating together, and probably started laughing five minutes later.  Skating has never been so fun, but at the same time so productive.  He's one of my best friends.  It's weird to think we're going to nationals again together this year, but competing.  Often at the most random times we come to this realization and we'll be like..."We're skating together!"  Couldn’t ask for anything better, which goes for everyone at the rink.  So my reason for blogging was basically, because I had an amazing epiphany today.  I was at the hair salon and my hairdresser and I were talking about skating.  Right away, he was like “So, are you good?”.  First off, I think that is a terrible question.  What does he expect me to say…no?  Then I thought, well what do I really think?  Then I thought, why did I just ask myself that question?  When you’re on the ice and you’re program is going amazing and people start cheering, you know you look good and then you push it out more, and pour on the drama.  When you’re on the ice and you skate decent, but the crickets are chirping….maybe it wasn’t so great?  Does just saying that you are good make you good, or does someone have to assure you?  Sometimes we get so caught up in the details we forget to ask ourselves some of the simplest of questions. My response to myself for this worldly question of the day….You are as good as you think you are.

4 more days of training and then off to Nationals!  

Happy Monday

Skating today was rough.  Fighting a cold, but I guess it’s better to get it out now.  You can never look at a program and just think about how you are going to make it through, sick or not.  It’s not even that skating was bad, but the worst disappointment is knowing that I mentally gave up.  I know...don’t read too far into it….it’s just a day of training.  Sometimes I feel like this in all aspects of life though.  I look so forward to just the end product or to just making it through something stressful.   However, I don’t want my life to just be a checklist finishing with a check next to “the end”.  How depressing is that?!  Everything I do in life, in skating, in school; I want to feel and take full advantage of.  I want to look back at these moments and know I did everything that I could to make it the best, and I’m happy with it.  Yeahh…well I think that’s good advice.  I should listen to myself more often! Ok resting and watching Across the Universe.  Best cure for the common cold: Hot tea with lemon and cayenne pepper….and a positive attitude:) Tomorrow will be better. Ciao…

Nightmares

You would think I would have nightmares about skating, but never.  Well rarely. The only nightmares about skating are where I forget how to skate when I am in front of people.  Which I would say is more of a ridiculous dream.  My nightmares consist of one of two topics, always....tornadoes and love.   I have an irrational fear of tornados.  They are always chasing me or someone important to me, and I always wake up panicked.  The only thing I get out of those dreams is that I will never be a tornado chaser.
Love on the other hand; I guess you could say that is an irrational fear as well.  I know I'm only 20, but I've had one major heartbreak in my life.  I guess you could say I was too young to know what love was, but I solely believed I loved.  All I can say is without trust, love can not work.  I still have nightmares about that situation, and I still wake up in tears every time.  Stupid? yes, very. Can I control it? No.  Some things in life are out of my control.  I have to let it happen, and make the best out of the cards I've been dealt.  The only difference between now and then, is my emotional recovery time.  My stamina is a-maze-ing :) haha.  I always dread going back to sleep, but I have to skate in four hours.  So I just need to slap myself out of it, and tell myself some important things.  Every day is a new beginning and life moves on.   Sweet dreams.

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to no one"~William Shakespeare

Lazy Sunday

I feel like without lazy Sunday's I would never make it through the week.  So I decided to make a blog on my life as a competitive ice dancer and a full-time college student.  Needless to say, my life is not normal at all.  Well no one's is.  I never realized how difficult it would be taking a full course load and training as a senior athlete, while trying to stay slightly sane.  I am a junior at the University of Delaware.  Until just recently I was a biology major with dreams of becoming a pediatric surgeon, a gynecologist, a pediatrician, a dentist, and now I am aspiring to be a lawyer.  Life is funny right?  Every step I took down my figurative success ladder of prospective careers; I asked myself if skating was the reason.  I think that is one of those questions that will never truly have an answer.  I don't live a normal college life at all, which I am content with.  I don't go out and party like everyone else.  I don't go to my 8 am genetics class hungover, telling my friend about my one-night stand and how many shots of jose I did .  I wake up every morning, eat my oatmeal, make some coffee, go to class, go to the rink for 4-5 hours, go to class again, study, and then go to sleep.  So why the change to law?  I think I can honestly say I got lost in the dilemma of an appreciation or respect for a scientific career rather than a passion for it.  I myself have had two major surgeries in my life, and I owe my life to two pediatric surgeons.  Of course, my heart goes out to them and I could never thank them enough.  Everyone told me if you want something bad enough, you can make it happen.  Quote to live by.  I love science and respect it, but it's just not for me.  So now I am a Political Science major, hopefully specializing in foreign affairs.  I am interested in patent law...put all that science to some good use ;)
So on the skating side, my partner and I have a little over a week of skating left before we depart for U.S. Nationals in Greensboro, NC.  I'm so excited.  Truth: It's my first Nationals so I am nervous and excited.  Anxious is a better word.  We're competing senior ice dance.  So I'll certainly write all about it.  It should be exciting. I just have to survive one more week of training...I'm like ready to leave..now! haha.  So life is crazy right now.  Rescheduling classes for a new major in the spring, training and Nationals, and on top of that I am moving into a new apartment right after I get back from nationals...a few days before school starts.  So all I can say to life right now is...bring it. :)